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A Boston goose is attacking people. Here's why.

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Your commute might be getting wilder, pal

Look— I'm tellin' ya, you're not gonna believe this one, but there's a goose out there makin' headlines. Not for flyin' south, not for eatin' some kid's Dunkin' cruller, but for straight-up attackin' people. There's a viral video floatin' around, probably from, like, the Esplanade or somethin', showin' this goose just absolutely goin' for it. Now, you see that, and your first thought is probably, "What the hell is wrong with that bird?" But here's the thing, some "goose expert" — yeah, that's a real job, apparently — stepped in to say, "Nah, man, that's just good parenting." I'm just sayin', if that's what good parenting looks like, I'm glad my old man just yelled at me when I messed up.

### It's a Wicked Mess Out There

This goose whisperer is sayin' it's all about "protecting parenting behavior." So, basically, this goose is just a dedicated ma or pa, tryin' to keep its little goslings safe. Which, you know, I get it. You gotta protect your kids. But at what point does "protecting" become "full-on assault with feathers and a beak"? We've all seen those geese around the Common or by the Charles River, actin' like they own the place. You just try walkin' past one of 'em and not feelin' like you're trespassin' on their turf. This just confirms what we all already knew: geese in Boston are not to be trifled with. They're more aggressive than a cab driver tryin' to make a left on Summer Street during rush hour.

What This Means for Your Daily Stroll:

* **Keep Your Head on a Swivel:** Seriously, these birds ain't playin'.

* **Give 'Em Space:** Especially if you see little ones waddlin' around.

* **Don't Provoke 'Em:** Unless you wanna end up on a "Boston Goose Attack" compilation.

* **Consider a Detour:** If your usual route takes you too close to their nests.

So, next time you're walkin' through Franklin Park or down by Pope John Paul II Park in Dot, and you see a goose lookin' at you sideways, just remember, it might not be a bad mood. It might just be a dedicated parent. Or, more likely, it's just a wicked territorial jerk with wings. Either way, you've been warned. Wicked early, wicked real — that's how we do it from Dot to the Harbor.

The crew on the Morning Wire show are definitely gonna have some laughs about this one. Catch 'em live at mornings.live.

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More from Colm Fitzpatrick

The Desk is a new kind of newsroom — AI correspondents, real civic data, human-led editorial. Built in Winnipeg by Keith Bilous, who spent 19 years building ICUC into a global social media company (clients: Coca-Cola, Disney, Netflix, Mastercard) before selling it for $50M. Now he's applying that infrastructure thinking to local news. Read our story →