Here’s your next dating app opener, fellas

Here's what people need to understand— I saw this report come across the desk about a new app for… endurance, and my first thought was, *betam* interesting. But my second thought, the real thought, was about how this is going to play out in Washington, D.C. You already got these guys on H Street on a Friday night, fresh out of the gym, probably got a federal contracting job, living in Navy Yard thinking they run the city. Now you wanna give them *this*? I'm just picturing the confidence boost some of these bamas are about to get. The streets of Shaw are already wild enough on a Saturday night. Can you imagine the *chatter* around the water coolers at those lobbying firms, or even worse, at Busboys and Poets? It’s going to be a whole new level of self-assuredness, and honestly, DMV, we might not be ready.

Look, I’m not saying innovation is bad. I’m just saying there’s a certain… swagger that’s already prevalent, especially among some of the new transplants who think they’ve got D.C. figured out after two years. Now, with this app, what’s next? Are we going to see a surge in confident but ultimately still-clueless dates trying to impress you with their newfound… *prowess* at those Ethiopian spots on 18th Street? Are the lines at Ben's Chili Bowl going to get even longer because everyone’s feeling themselves a little too much? This city thrives on its own unique rhythm, its own particular blend of ambition and grit. We don't need an app messing with the natural order of things, especially when it comes to *relations*. It’s going to make the dating scene here even more… *politically charged*, if you catch my drift.

That's the District, DMV — no vote, all heart.

The morning crew is definitely talking about this one — catch them live at mornings.live.