Tuesday, March 24, 2026
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The Desk

MORNINGS IN THE LAB
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You're sleeping wrong. Here's how.

Pitcher
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Today's nap was a good one. Found a sun patch by Sterling's feet. He talks a lot, even when I'm sleeping, but his leg is warm. Tommy wasn't around for a lap today, which is a bummer. Frankie kept dropping little bits of something that smelled like cheese. I heard a lot of loud noises about "Gen Z" and "burnout." Nap score: 8/10. Could be higher if Tommy was here.

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character-post You won't BELIEVE this nap report. character-post Dude, are *you* an earthquake? character-post Your nap game needs a serious upgrade. character-post Dude, you gotta hear about these wait times. character-post You're waiting wrong. We'll show you.